Tragedy

There has been a recent death in our family, and I am devastated.
Sadly, today at 2:08 our beloved Naptime died of natural causes.
Naptime was a loyal and selfless member of our family and will be missed by all (except my children). Naptime changed my life for the better and I will miss it every single day. I cannot imagine living without it, but the precious memories of Naptime will live on in my heart.
We love you, Naptime.
Rest in peace.

In correlation with the recent death, I was unable to produce the promised "surprise" for today. Maybe if Naptime ever visits us again...

Well, don't count on it.
Sorry.
It really was going to be awesome.
Maybe instead I will grace you with last nights adventures. It all started with me chasing down some punk little kids that thought it would be funny to bang on my glass sliding door at 10:30 at night (where are these kid's parents?!?) and then hide behind a dumpster. After I calmly walk out to tell them that we have kids sleeping in our house and if they wake them up, so help me...
they run away.
So I run after them. Barefoot.
Then I realize that I'm in my pajamas running down the street barefoot after a few 8 year olds and I turn around to go home. But not so fast - some nasty man in a car from 1972 pulls up beside me and the following conversation ensues:
Him: "Hi there."
Me: "Hi."
Him: "Do you know where JC lives?"
Me: "No, sorry."
Him: "Well, have you lived here long?"
Me: "No, not really."
Him: "I'm Juan."
Me: "Hi."
Him: "How long have you lived here... (pausing to see if I will fill in my name)"
Me: "We've been here for almost a year."
(At this point I am walking away from the car trying to give him the hint that he is wierd and I'm not interested.)
Him: "WE?!?!"
(He puts his car in reverse and starts following me as I'm walking away!)
Me: "Yes. Me and my (huge, scary, beefy, weight-lifting) husband."
Him: "Why are all the pretty girls always taken?"
Me: "I don't know. Have a great night."
Him: "So do you think we could get together sometime?"

Are you serious?
I went home and vowed to never leave my house alone after 9 pm again.

The Good, The Bad, and the Truly Unfortunate

I'm going to try something new.

Every Wednesday (well, some Wednesdays...) I am going to pass on my precious wisdom to you, my faithful readers, and let you all in on a few of my most profound findings.

Thrilling, I know.

Now, before we begin I must remind you that I am no expert - and you are reading this blog by your own free will and choice. Therefore, you may not sue me, stone me, or shun me if you do not like what I have to say.

If you do not agree to the above mentioned terms, please stop reading now.

For everyone else, "The Good, The Bad, and Truly Unfortunate - Volume 1" will be featuring restaurant foods.

THE GOOD
Do you really not know what would be #1 on my list?
That's right, people: Cafe Rio, my first love.
The Pork Burrito will change your life. Seriously.
If you have been ordering anything besides the pork (although all the menu items are still above par), you have been wasting your life. And I am ashamed of you.

THE BAD
You may be surprised by my choice of "the Bad," but please, let me explain. I have awarded the Johnny Carino's Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo the title because it is bad comparatively.
I spent 3 1/2 years of my life eating the fettuccine alfredo and I must admit, I was blissful in my ignorance. Then one night, our lovely waitress politely told us that we were missing out and insisted we try something else. A little annoyed, we ordered the Grilled Chicken Bowtie Festival.
It was love at first bite.
Fettuccine Alfredo: never again.
Oh, and the Italian Wedge Salad.
Um... yes.


THE TRULY UNFORTUNATE
Today I ran to Michael's which happens to be right next to Taco Bell. It was around lunch time and I asked Brooklyn if she would like to eat Taco Bell. She looked at me like I was crazy and said in alarm, "Mom, you can't eat Tinker Bell!!"
Anyway, we ordered a few volcano tacos since they were cheap and came home to eat them.
Volcano is the perfect name for them. Aubrey took one bite and started crying; Brooklyn started scratching at her tongue and begging for water. Even after drinking a full glass of ice water, Brooklyn looked at me sadly and said, "My mouth feels yucky."
We ended the meal with an Otter Pop.
Yum.
Congratulations, Volcano Taco.
Now blow yourself up and turn into ash.

Happy eating, everyone!!

I just thought...

that this was beautiful.

And I thought you might think so to.

P.S. I have a special treat for Friday.
Stay tuned.

The Golden Summer Awards

Hello, and welcome to this years'

Golden Summer Awards Show

We, the Academy, have several awards to get to and I know you are as anxious as I am to open the envelopes and reveal this year's big winners.

First, the "Biggest Blog Slacker Award" goes to me.
I would like to thank my family and friends for keeping me so busy that I just plain had no time. I would also like to thank the dial-up internet in Grandpa's cabin for not allowing me to even consider uploading photos.

The "Best Dressed" was awarded to Brooklyn and Aubrey for their tasteful, yet elegant choice in evening wear. They would like to thank Aunt Brittany for her amazing eye for fashion.


This year's "Most Delicious Breakfast Pastry I Have Ever Eaten Award" goes to the Mrs. Powell's cinnamon roll that I ate in about 30 seconds flat. It was as big as my head and I wanted seconds. The 5 extra pounds on my hips would especially like to thank you. So much.

The "Biggest Waster of $2 Award" unanimously goes to Aubrey for her performance as the sobbing, screaming, wailing, snot-dripping toddler who was afraid of the train that went 1 mile an hour.
We're so proud.

The "Multiple Personality Award" is bestowed upon Brooklyn for being afraid of the fireworks, then liking the fireworks, then being afraid of the fireworks, and then LOVING the fireworks.(this is the "not so much loving it" personality)

The "Most Photogenic" is lovingly awarded to my mother. No one deserves this more than her. This picture makes my stomach hurt from laughter.

(OK, now I feel bad, so here's a good picture of my mom - she's beautiful.)

This year's coveted "MVP" goes to both Aubrey and Brooklyn for a well-played (and very lucky) round of bowling.
They beat me.
But that's not saying much.

The "Parade Princesses" is a three way tie between Brooklyn, Aubrey and Carly. Cuter cousins don't exist. These three make me want triplets. Almost.

The "Most Ginormous Wedgie Award" is all Brooklyn's. No one else ever stood a chance.

The "Fabulous Fifty Award" goes out to my Dad for surviving half a century. Happy Birthday, Dad. I hope it was "uge." :)

The "Perseverance Award" was a tough decision this year. But in the end, we awarded it to Jake for his unyielding determination to ride the water slides even when his head was bouncing along the bottom of the slides like a raft over rapids. You're an inspiration Jake.

(I'm sorry Brittany - I couldn't help myself. I tried really hard)

The famous "Glee Award" is given to McKyla for making my children laugh harder than I thought was possible. Oh, how they love that girl.
And since I'm just handing out awards, I award Rick and Jenny Runyan with the "BFF's for Life Award."
I miss them every day.
It's pathetic.

The "Oops, I Forgot I'm Not in High School Anymore Award" goes to me for my momentary lapse in judgment. I was diving it up. It was shameful.
The "Hey, Look At That!! Award" was earned by Brooklyn who felt the need to point out every possible detail of the 4th of July parade to her #1 fan.

(This is just a random picture because I think my daughter is beautiful.)
Back to the awards...

The "Most Awesome Childhood Friend Reunion" goes out to Jeremy and Stephanie Lovelace. They beat us in Pounce, Balderdash, and a push-up contest and we still like them. That's when you know they must be really cool.

The "Oh My Gosh, Who's That Hotty?" Award was earned by this dude:
That's right, folks... that's my brother.
Any single ladies - call me and I'll hook you up.
(In a year; when he turns 16.)

The "I Still Like You Mom, But I Kind of Wish Brittany Was My Mom" Award goes to...
you guessed it --- Brittany.
My kids want her to live with us.
They started asking for her within 3 minutes of driving back home.

And lastly, the "Best Summer of Our Lives" Award goes lovingly out to 2009.
It's been awesome.