A California Outline

Remember in 8th grade when you had to do outlines for English and then you graduated from High School and you thought you'd never have to see one again?

Well, you were wrong.

Our recent California vacation was so jam-packed with action that I can think of no other way to possibly summarize all the madness into one post except in an outline. (This excludes "The Wedding" - which deserves a post all it's own; and so it shall have one.) So sit back and enjoy yourself as we travel back in time to English 101.
Welcome to class.

I. California Trip Summer 2010
A. The Pool
1. We snorkeled for fish.
a. There weren't any.
B. The Bachelorette
1. Kellie is so much cooler than Ali.
2. Kellie has mad roller skating skills.
a. I do not.
3. I bought my sister-in-law lingerie.
a. That was like buying lingerie for my brother.
i. That should be illegal.

C. The Beach
1. Oh, the beach.
a. I love the beach.
b. I really, really love the beach.
c. The beach is one my favorite things on earth.
d. I like the beach.
e. Like, a lot.
f. I found a new program for editing photos.
i. I love it almost more than I love the beach.

D. Learning to Fly
1. Before you go flying in your dad's new airplane, you must:
a. Say a prayer.
b. Check the battery.
i. When you discover that the battery is dead and you will not get an inch off the ground, you must:
a. take a picture of yourself being ridiculous. E. Taking Baths
1. Taking a bath with a cousin is so much more fun.
a. Until your cousin poops in the bathtub.
b. Then it's not fun anymore.

F. The Fair.
1. Some people are too cool to wear their 3-D glasses at the movie.
2. Some are not.
3. Riding the potato sack slide is just as fun when you're 26.
4. While at the petting zoo, you might meet Bambi.
a. Or... you might get trampled by a papa goat.


b. Or, you might meet a friendly (though stinky) pig and start singing "Old McDonald Had A Farm" at full volume.
i. When these kids sing "Old McDonald" it goes like this: "...and arnhee farm..."
ii. This is my third favorite thing in life. (Number one is the beach and number two is my new photo editing program. Pay attention.)G. Gymnastics
1. Gymnastics = Freedom.
2. Gymnastics = Bonding.
3. Gymnastics = Awesomeness.

H.Brittany.
1. This is my sister, Brittany.
a. I call her Britt.
b. Britt is single.
c. You should date her if you are single and male and off-the-charts cool.
i. You will be screened.
ii. You will have to fight Jake.
d. It is 12:42 am right now and I should be in bed.

I.The Science Center
1. When attending the Science Center, always remember to:
a.bring along Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb.
i. You won't regret it.
b.Get your finger sucked on by a marine animal.
c. Ride a camel.
d. smile!
i. or not.
J. Luke played tennis.
1. I'm tired.
K. Knott's Berry Farm.
1. Has no berries.
2. But does have some ridiculously cool rides.
a. As long as you do not get sick and feel like puking your guts out for half the day.
b. Favorite quote of the day: (Luke) "I SERIOUSLY think I just felt my heart hit my spleen. No, seriously."
L. Best. M. Vacation.
N. Ever.