We're On A Boat

A week ago we bid a fond "Bon Voyage" to the shores of Long Beach and headed out to the open sea for a weekend of fun with our besties, the Martinos.  (Yes, they are named the Martinos.  No, they are not Mexican.)  Basically we love them and their kids and when they move in a month we will sob like little infants.

We quickly discovered that this cruise was basically a singles cruise with a bunch of 20-somethings who forgot to pack their clothes.  And us.

But we still had a great time.  (Even if we had to cover a couple little eyes and plug a couple little ears once or twice.  Oh, and this one time we were in the pool and Cameron asked me why this group of girls was acting so weird and Aubrey loudly replied, "It's cause they're drinking juice that makes them crazy!"  Yep.  The crazy juice.)

We started the night off by humiliating our offspring with our white-Mormon-married-couple-moves at a Cinco De Mayo fiesta complete with sombreros, mustaches, and blow-up cacti.

(Notice the bandaid on my finger from the time I sliced it open on Luke's razor while reaching into his bathroom bag about 1 hour into the cruise.  Nice.)

 Cameron begged and pleaded with us to stop and we were like, "no."  And then we continued to get down with our bad selves to his complete mortification.  I'm sure he thought we had partaken of the "crazy juice."

 I mean....  how could you possibly be embarrassed by this....? 

Impossible.

Next we hit up the deck pool where we relaxed and basked in the sun and basically took over the hot-tub by sheer force (aka the little kid army came in and drove the others out by the dozens.  No sense of personal space, these little ones.  Weetino Kids: 1, Semi-naked Drunk Girls: ZERO.)

Also, Brooklyn and Cameron slipped hard on that wooden plank and smacked their heads and I was too lazy to get up and help them so I basically just yelled from my chair, "We're on vacation!  You're fine!!!"  And people judged me.

 And then me and Brooklyn played a round of mini golf.  Fun Fact: Brooklyn got stung by a bee at soccer practice the night before we left and her arm was itchy and swollen and tender the whole cruise.  I could not BEElieve it.

After cuddling our towel animal and eating a scrumptious family dinner we shipped the kids off to camp so we could have a little adult time.

 

Luke read our options and I basically sounded like that super annoying Megan Trainer song....

Luke: Gambling?

Me: No.

Luke: Clubing?

Me: No.

Luke: Drinking?

Me: No.

Luke: LGBT Gathering?

Me: No.

Luke: X-rated Comedy Show?

Me: No.

We ended up having a ping pong tournament (which us girls almost won), and playing card games and laughing harder than I have laughed in a really long time.

The next morning we docked in Ensenada and descended upon their unsuspecting town where we lost Luke and Cameron for half the day, and pulled out our best haggling skills (which saved us about $1.50 on 6 bracelets.  So.... boom.)

 The final haul was a Power Rangers cape for Cameron, a guitar for Brooklyn, and 2 fans for the girls.  And nothing for Bailey.

 

 Back on board we swam, hit the water slides, ate like 5 different times, and got ready for the Fancy Night.  We ditched the younger 2 and let Brooklyn tag along for date night which was awesome cause it meant I didn't have to dance during dinner - I just got to watch her do it instead.

 That night the adults went to the family-friendly comedy show and ventured into the karaoke bar where we came to the realization that we are old.  and parents.  and tired.

So we went to bed at 9:45. 

Party hard.

The next morning was our final day at sea and unbeknownst to us would become the "BEST DAY" of Aubrey's young life.  It started off with round 1 of breakfast and a relaxing hang session out on the deck where I forced each child against their will to take about a million selfies with me.

They secretly love this.  I'm pretty sure. 

After that we went wild on the water slides and soaked up some harmless UV rays, 

 spotted a pod of dolphins in the water,

won a ship on a stick in the geekiest trivia game of all time,

laid out some more, and watched the most entertaining "Hairy Chest Contest" of all time.

 That night before dinner we went to the Hasbro Game Show where both Luke and Aubrey won their way onto the stage.

 Aubrey's question was "How Many Times Did Michael Jordan retire from the NBA?"

Correct Answer: 3.

 Once they both got on stage, Luke had to play a game with 4 adults where they each had to wear a different colored cube and then get into a sequence before the other team.  Once they were in the right order, Aubrey had to hit a button earning them a point.  It was 3 points to win, and she dominated.  It was awesome.  Then they each got to pick a huge plastic debit card for winning and at the end, all 9 winners put their card into a huge ATM to see who got the most points.  And guess who won the ULTIMATE GRAND PRIZE....

Um... AUBREY did.

 

It rained fake money and everyone cheered and she got a $150 gift card which bought her a truckload of games and dolls and toys and she was happier than a kid on Christmas.

And then she ate a snail for $1.

And we had the greatest vacation of all time.