The 2013 Golden Summer Awards

Every year we take a trip to Utah and every year I think it can't be beat and every year it is. 

And... every odd-numbered year, I gather up some blogging energy and create 

the Golden Summer Awards

(proof: 2011, 2009.)

So... once again... here's this year's version of our

Golden Summer Awards!

The "Road Trippin' Rambos" goes to my 3 little warriors who are {for reals} the best little travelers ever. 

The "World Record for the Fastest Spilled Snowcone Award" goes to...

All of us.

It was a joint effort to get our time down to a personal high (or low) of 36.2 seconds.  

{P.S. Don't think for a second that we didn't scoop it up off the table and eat it like nothing had happened.}

The "Safe Haven" Award is lovingly presented to the Big House (yep, that's the houses' name) for being the wonderland for my kids that it always was for me. 
(Oh, and a deer had babies on the front lawn.  Really.)

The Poopiest, Poorest, Most Pathetic Provo Parade Award goes to...

This one.

Two words:  NO. CANDY.

{Although, the run-away tanker, pooping llamas, revealing kilts, random undertaker, and 90's prom dresses were my favorite highlights.) 

 Luckily, cousin Holly was there to make fun of everyone, so the entertainment value was still surprisingly high.

The "Fabulous 4th Family Photograph" goes to the whole family.

{But mostly me because we made it to lunch time in our red, white, and blue and still looked semi-presentable.  I take full credit.}

The "Still Cooler Than Me" Award goes to Brittany because my kids still think she's cooler than me.  Duh.

 The "Stealer of the Baby" was a tough decision, but must go to Aubrey for claiming that Chase really wouldn't let go of her finger every time someone else wanted to hold him.

"The Greatest Show on Earth (or at least the Greatest Show in Utah)  Award" goes to this year's Stadium of Fire.

I mean...  Parachuteres dropping to the field, the best National Anthem I've EVER heard (sung by an 11 year old), a patriotic message to the troops, Cirque Du Soleil, some darling dancers, Carly Rae Jeppson, and KELLIE CLARKSON!

 The talent was incredible, the fireworks were spectacular, and the whole show was AMAZING.  And Aubrey's rocking out to "Call Me Maybe" got us noticed by an entire bench of college boys.

 

The "Deer Huntin'" Award goes to Brooklyn and Aubrey who spent 2 mornings tromping through the forest in camouflage looking for Bambi.

 I was done after 3 minutes.

The "Get Shorty" Award naturally goes to Brittany who was only able to go on the Go-Carts after putting her hair in a ponytail.  Hi-liar-ious.

The "Prehistoric Princess" Award once again is given to Brooklyn who lives, breathes, and now... eats, dinosaurs. 

 

After spending the morning at the Paleontology Museum at BYU, she (on her own!) created a concept for a "Dinosaur Cafe" which she is going to open after she goes to BYU and becomes a fossil digger.  She basically wants it to be like Rainforest Cafe, but with dinosaurs.  And she is insistent that there will be a dinosaur slide and a dinosaur bone digging area where the kids can hunt for fossils until their food comes.  And the servers will be dressed like Archeologists.

Genius.

The "Dinosaurs Be Hatin' On Me" Award goes to Cameron for getting his head unceremoniously banged on a dinosaur three times while at the museum.

And also, he really thought the T-Rex was going to eat him.

The "Surf's Up" Award goes to Brooklyn for mastering the ability to body surf at the 7 Peaks wave pool with the help of her talented uncles.

 

The "Somebody's Got to Nail That Girl's Feet to the Floor" Award is all Aubrey's. 

Self explanatory.

Also, it should be noted that she also went off of an enormous swinging trapeze that she couldn't even reach and had to have someone basically throw her at it and then hope she caught it.  

Oh, and yes - she's in mid-flight in this picture.

The "Still As Cool As You Were 17 Years Ago" Award goes to my good friend, Jeremy Lovelace who came up the Big House for a visit and had us all rolling on the floor, as usual.

 

The "We Did Too Many Awesome Things to List" Award includes:

-Dinner with the cousins at the Big House and sharing all of our babysitting horror stories

-Forgetting Dad at the movie theatre and having to go back to pick him up after he texted us

-Shopping at BYU
-Getting a parking ticket in SLC

-Dominating at Wits and Wagers

-Icecream at the Creamery

-Cafe Rio

-My incredible dismount off the trapeze and then getting stuck upside down in the foam pit

-Shakes at Glade's

-Cameron getting stung by a wasp 3 times in a 9 second period

-Cousin Brennan's Wedding Reception

-Waking up to my dad blasting the "Saturday's Warrior" soundtrack (and still having it stuck in my head a week later)

-The Veteran's Park pool and Rec Center

-Watching "The Croods"

-Not making it over the hill on the water slide at SLC Seven Peaks and having to do the walk of shame

 And finally, the "Greatest Christmas Gift of All Time - Besides Jesus" Award goes to my mom, who got our whole family "The Pass of All Passes" this year.  

Basically, everything fun there is to do in Utah is free with your pass.

So, we enjoyed

Miniature Golf,

Arcade Games,

 Rides,

 

 Bumper Boats (in which I warned everyone that I did not want to get wet because of a wedding I was attending that night, so naturally, I got solidly drenched.  Stupid.)

 Bowling,

 Not bowling,

Go carts,

Rock Climbing, (Aubrey is a crazy person when it comes to climbing.  When this picture was taken, Aubrey had gone all the way up, come down and then gone up again in the time that it took Brittany to get to this point.)

Laser Tag,  (Which the girls  L O V E D.)

  

Splash pads,

2 separate (and enormous) water parks,

  

And a trampoline park which was more fun than you could possibly imagine.

MOM WINS.

Our Vacation to Paradise: Day 3 - 5

(fyi... for days 1 and 2, scroll down.  or just click here or here, you lazies.)

{Day 3: Cozumel}

The next morning, we woke up to the most beautiful shoreline ever.  

The water was the color of Kool-Aid.  It kind of looked like the toilet water that some people used to have that I thought was really cool a long time ago and now I just think is kind of creepy.

 After disembarking and dodging about 12 people who were trying to take pictures with us, we stumbled onto beautiful Cozumel.

 My first impressions were that it was really hot, the t-shirts were really perverted, and people seemed very drunk for 10 am.  It was fun to walk around and browse some of the authentic shops, even if the people there are outside their senses.  (No.  I do not want to buy a $10 bandana with a picture of Bob Marley on it.  So stop.)

Oh, and I got hit on by a cop.
So that was fun.

  Since we had absolutely no plan for what to do after arriving in Cozumel, we decided to start a bidding war over our services.  The price for zip lining through the cruise line was $95 a person.  We used our master negotiation skills and scored a zip line/cab ride/glass bottom boat ride/snorkeling trip for $60 a person.
Go us.

 In all honestly, it was terrifying handing some random man $600 cash (there were 10 of us) and not knowing his name, his business name, his phone number, his criminal history, or his level of integrity.

Especially since he promised us he would be going with us and then "pulled a fast one" (as my dad would say) and calmly waved good-bye to us from the curb as we pulled away in a 1984 Astro van (AKA the cab) and drove off into the jungle.  

I thought we were going to be either murdered and sold for parts, or trafficked into the sex trade.

But lucky for us, they actually delivered.

The first stop was zip lining.

We started by being strapped into a harness by some very sweet Cozumelians (made that word up).  I politely asked him if anyone had ever fallen out of the harness before to which he responded, "Oh, yea."  

I silently prayed that it was just a language miscommunication.

 The first step was to hike to the top of a very handmade tower.  The higher you got, the more it swayed, and when our guide had us all line up on one side, I was certain it was going to tip right over.

 Once we got off the towers, it was awesome.  I could have zipped along all day.

Luke was a pro on his first round (surprise, surprise) and he was showing us all up in no time.

This picture cracks me up.  No, he is not giving birth to me.  And no, he is not pooping me out. 

After our zip lining excursion, we did a little more shopping, tried some Mexican rootbeer, and headed out on our glass bottom boat ride.

In my head, I had pictured - well - a glass bottom boat. 

Let's be real.

It was a fishing boat with a 1x3 foot port hole.

 You'll just have to take my word that we went snorkeling.  Cause we did.  We saw Nemo and Dory and a sting ray and then I got very ocean sick and thought I was going to barf right there on the coral reef. 

 Luke had a really great time, though.

While on the boat, we met a really amazing magician.  He told us that he is India's version of David Blane.  I believe him.

Then for the next 2 days...

well, to be honest,

 I don't remember.  

I know we spent some time on the deck laying out,

winning more trophies (I even got my hands on one), 

FINALLY convincing Bruce to rock the mic for his first-ever Eminem karaoke debut,  

(it was amazing)

enjoying Luke bring the house down with "It's the End of the World As We Know It." 

 He did not miss a single word.  'Twas might impressive. 

 

And we played games, drank delicious drinks, watched people loose a disgusting amount of money gambling, witnessed the best "Newlywed Game" show ever, attended a dance party in which we somehow became involved in a massive congo line, ate about 14 ice cream cones in one night, played the most ridiculous game of mini golf, listened to a comedian talk about Disneyland (I could relate), played card games until we couldn't see straight, and had the best family vacation known to man. 

And then we returned to real life.

 The End.