A Whole-lot-a Randomness

There is no way to tie this post together because of the numerous random events that have been going on in the Webb-(Wide)-World, so just sit back, relax, and do not attempt to make sense of anything that is about to follow.

We spent a lot of this week with our feet off the ground. Brooklyn saw me do a handstand in the living room, and well, monkey see; monkey do. And even littler monkey see; littler monkey do.I just love this picture. It is such a perfect snapshot of our lives.
I can't even explain why.

Aubrey's feet were off the ground for about an hour while I pushed her on the swing at the park. That kid and her swing.
A match made in heaven.
I got a little bored during the swinging marathon and thought this picture made another pretty close snapshot of my life.

Brooklyn started preschool recently and has been loving it so far.
After the first day of school I asked her what her favorite part was and she said, "RICE!!!"
There's a sand box full of rice that apparently she's a fan of.

Our house recently has also felt like the set of "Extreme Apartment Makeover." The girlies got bunk beds a little while ago, and I've been dying to get some designing action on. This is the finished product.
I bought a lamp at Wal-Mart for $12 (with the shade) and then painted the base, and jazzed up the shade by hot gluing on some flowers from an old shirt that I was just going to throw away. And waulaaa...
Instant girlified bedside lamp.
One of my favorite features in their room are the letters (A & B were the only 2 they had!! Made for me? - I think yes.) that I found at Marshall's for $7 and painted the perfect shade of pink.
The big letters hanging on their walls have served the duel purpose of not only beautifying and personalizing, but also teaching!! Both girls are now experts in the first 2 letters of the alphabet.
The little geniuses...
who needs Baby Einstein?
I also just framed some handprints - one from recently and one from the day they were born.
Love. it.

And if anyone is still reading this, I have one last item of business. I have been looking all over for a personalized children's name necklace like this one: but they are all so expensive. (This one is $38) So, I looked into just buying the suplies myself and that was even more ridiculously expensive. (Stick with me... I have a point) So, I was wondering if there is anyone out there that would be interested in having me make them a necklace like this. They would probably cost between $15-20 each (less if I get a lot of people interested). I don't want to make them for a profit, I just want to cover the cost of the supplies. I think they are so cute and would make wonderful Christmas, Mother's Day, Birthday, and everyday presents.
The font would look like this - just the lowercase though.
If I can get 12 or more people that want to buy one, I wouldn't feel so bad about the small fortune that they cost. And the husband would appreciate it too.

So let me know if you are in.

Goats, Tractors, and Germs......... oh, my!

Despite our best efforts to drag summer out for as long as possible, fall is at our door.

And what better way to celebrate than to spend the day at a pumpkin patch? But this was not just any pumpkin patch. This pumpkin patch came with cows. And bunnies. And hay. And wagons. And tractors. And slides. And goats. And friends. And cars. And a corn pit (I'll explain...). And mini-tractors. And swings.

Really, oh my.

Does anyone else appreciate the autumn goodness that is spilling out of this picture?

Love it. My first time on a tractor.
I know... I'm a city girl.
This was one of the cute (although badly in need of a bath) little baby goats that was just hanging out with us.

I'm pretty sure that a few seconds after this picture was taken, Aubrey was laying face down in a pile of rocks and that little baby goat was long gone.
All she wanted was a hug!!
(This picture just makes me want to say in my deepest, manly voice, "Down; set; hike!!")

Now, the pumpkin patch was tons of fun, but I must add a slight disclaimer in case any of my Iowa friends decide to take their children to visit.
If you don't like germs, stay away.
Far, far away.
(For example, that little brown ball that Aubrey is holding in her tiny hand is NOT goat food. That happens to be rabbit turd. Yep, you heard me. Rabbit. Turd.)
You've been warned.
And just when you thought it couldn't get any dirtier, enter the Corn Pit.
It's corn. In a pit. And that inch of white dust on Brooklyn is what happens when you play in a pit full of corn.
Yummy.

A tire that was turned into a horse that was turned into a swing that was turned into a great time.

She thinks this tractor's sexy.

A few seconds after this picture was taken, both of my kids tried to suicide-dive out of the wagon because I had stopped to have our picture taken for 2 seconds. Kids these days...

The cutest pumpkin in the patch

A few seconds after this one was taken, Aubrey was laying on the grass screaming at the top of her lungs, "Let go of me!!! Let goooooooooooo!"
And a few seconds later she was fast asleep in her car seat.

Oh, my.

The Dumb, The Dumber, and the Even More Dumberer

I realize that I have not kept up my weekly edition of "The Good, The Bad..." as I had promised and so to rectify this situation, I present this post for your reading enjoyment.
(Disclaimer: I do not like Hollywood. I think 99% of the people in Hollywood are fake, immoral, dishonest, spoiled pigs without a brain. If you are at all of a different mindset, stop reading now, because this is about to get ugly.)

THE DUMB
This week, the coveted position of "The Dumb" goes to none other than the great, talented, praise-worthy rapper, Kanye West.
Congratulations, Kanye.
Now, we all know about his legendary "George Bush doesn't care about black people" comment, but what about this gem of a statement that Kanye was quoted saying,
"The Bible had 20,30,40,50 characters in it. You don't think that I would be one of the characters of today's modern Bible?"

Exactly which one of the 30 characters in the Bible do you think he would be?
I plead no comment.


THE DUMBER
The "Dumber" award also goes out to Kanye this week.
Recently, I read a story on how Kanye West is a "proud non-reader" and has "no respect" for books. He said,
"Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed. I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book's autograph."

Well said.
That's fine that he doesn't like books. I know some of you reading this don't love books the way I do, and that is FINE! But, how stupid does he sound right now?!

Pretty darn stupid.

And, take just a moment to appreciate the irony that the world's cockiest man just called a book "self-absorbed."
P.S. He also said once that "my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."
Wow.

THE EVEN MORE DUMBERER
award goes to, yes; Kanye West.
(My spell check thinks that "dumberer" is not a word.
I beg to differ.)

Did you see this?!
(by the way, all videos on youtube of this "incident" have been removed. hmmm...)
It was un.real.
Most disturbing thing about the whole situation? Kanye West believes this:
"I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade."

Scary.

(Did you hear that Pres. Obama even called him a jack-a!!!
Well, at least we finally agree on something...)

Some Little Moments...

Melt my heart.

Like when I wake up in the morning and find my kids spooning naked on the couch.
(Notice how Aubrey took off all her clothes and her diaper, but felt the need to put her shoes on.)

Some little moments...

Make me want to do back flips down the isles of church.
Like the moment today when I was released from Scouts!!

Some little moments...
Make me smile.
I can't even explain exactly why.
And I don't feel like I need to.

And some little moments...
Make me want to repent.
Like how I feel kind of guilty about the back flip thing.

Some little moments...
Make me want to eat my children.
Do any of you other mothers get this urge? (Please say yes!) This picture seriously makes me want to scoop Aubrey up, drizzle her with caramel and eat her all gone!
(click on this picture to enlarge it, and then try to tell me that you don't want to eat her too. just try.)

Some little moments...
Make me laugh hysterically
(and not in a funny way, but in a "that girl should be in therapy" kind of way)
Like on Saturday at the mall when I was on my way to change one of Aubrey's stinkiest diapers on record and Brooklyn announced loudly to an entire elevator FULL of people,
"Dang, Aubrey! Your butt stinks!!"

And some little moments...
Make me wonder
where did my child learn the word "butt"?
(or "dang"?)

And some little moments...
Take my breath away
Like when I find pictures from a year ago (exactly) and I can hardly believe how quickly they grow up.

(The stinky diaper experience could also fit under the "take my breath away" moment.
I can't even describe to you exactly how stinky it really was.)

A Series of Fortunate Events

It all started with a chair.

(Name that movie quote...)
This chair, to be exact.
I found it one day in someone's dusty old garage and at first, I walked right by it. And then I took a closer look and I paid my $2 for it and I loaded it into my car and brought it into our lives. When I got home, Luke took one look at it and said,
"Oh, great. You paid $2 for a chair so I can carry it to the dumpster."

I smiled and replied, "Oh, ye of little faith."
A few hours later we girls were out in full creative force, determined to show the world (aka Luke) what some paint and a little t.l.c. can do.

Before:

During:
After:

Now, for part 2 of this post:
A SERIES OF FORTUNATE EVENTS
(I'm reading that series of books right now, by the way... amazing.)
Anyway, like I said,
It started with a chair.
In fact, it started with Luke sitting in the chair for his time out.
Which led to Brooklyn doing "crazy eyes" to entertain him while he served his debt to society.

Which led to Luke and Ashley trying to show their affection for the "time out" chair.
Which led to them trying some more.
And some more.
And even once more.
Which led to Aubrey getting sick of me and shutting me out of their room.
Which led to Luke hiding under the bed.
Which led to the girls sprinting down the hall.
Which led to more sprinting down the hall.
Which led to me trying to grab them.
Which led to me getting tired and making Luke get them both into the room by himself. Which led to non-compliant children.

Which led to time out.
And so, it all ended with a chair.