Things I learned at the DMU Gala:

Number 1:
If you really want to know if a dress makes you look fat, ask your 3 year old.
She'll tell the truth.
(I learned this the harsh way when Brooklyn told me, "Mom, I think your have a brother in your tummy." Oh, Brooklyn - if only.)

Number 2:
Thinking you can eat at The Cheesecake Factory on a Saturday night is wishful thinking.

Number 3:
It doesn't matter where you eat if you're with people you like.

Number 4:
If you buy your husband a sparkly tie that matches your dress, you will not hear the end of it.
(Feel free to leave a comment with references to "Dancing with the Stars" outfits, figure skating costumes, and/or the Miss America Pageant Host look-alike jokes. But just know, we've heard it all before.)

Number 5:
Try your outfit on more than 10 minutes before you're supposed to leave. I almost had to call an audible when I tried on the dress/jacket combo I had been planning on. Hideous. (Not that the under-dress black shirt was all that much better...)

Number 6:
The "Senior Prom Picture Re-creation" will turn out just as retarded as you think it will. We are so not cool.
Number 7:
Screen your doctors. There were some girls (and guys) there last night that I would not trust with a plastic fork from my kid's tea set. When you see future doctors that are so drunk they can hardly walk, it'll make you think twice about getting surgery.

Number 8:
Dancing is only fun when done with whole-hearted, reckless abandon.
And then it's a blast.