We went to the zoo.

And this is what happened.

Aubrey got bit.
Brooklyn got stalked.
Luke almost got attacked by a tiger.
Ashley contemplated kidnapping a baby gorilla.
Aubrey face-planted off a monkey swing.
A gorilla fell in love with Aubrey.
And Aubrey feel in love with Blake.

Here's how it all went down.
First, we dragged these 3 with us all the way to Omaha.
They are the coolest.
Blake is the girl's partner in crime.
(My goal in life is to make Aubrey marry him.)
Ben likes to talk to Luke about guy stuff.
And Chelsea is my crazy crafting separated-at-birth twin.
They rock.


So, the day started off with a bang when Aubrey found a duck.
She loved that duck.
Her father thought that it would be funny for her to reach over the edge and touch it.
Her sister and her mom thought that would not be funny.
Her father did it anyway.
And that duck bit her.
Her dad felt bad.
(Can't you tell?)

Then that same girl found a peacock.
She hadn't learned her lesson from the duck, so she tried to touch it.
It jumped onto a bench to get away from her.

Then we found some goats.

It took this child 1 year, 9 months, and 14 days to be able to feed the goats that were locked in a cage at our zoo.
Had she known that that enormous (and truly disgusting) horned mammal was inches from her head... well, it would have been epic.
To say the least.
(Let it be known on the record, that I am the best mom in the world for rescuing her from that. The damage to her newly found animal courage could have been catastrophic. But it also might have been fun to see.)


Then we fed some birds.
We had to physically drag Aubrey away from them.

Then I almost jumped into a gorilla cage.
I want a baby.
(surprise!!!)
(Do you see him?!! You may have to look closely - there is a tiny baby sleeping in his mom's lap.)
The possibility of getting ripped from limb to limb by a 500 lb. furry animal didn't stop me.
The impenetrable glass wall did.

Tigers and Bears.
Oh, my.
This tiger tried to eat Luke.
Really.
The tiger jumped and growled.
And Luke jumped and peed his pants a little.

I'm laughing my head off right now just remembering.
Oh, classic.

Did you know if you are attacked by a bear in the wild, you are supposed to raise your hands above your head, stand your ground, and sing?

Chelsea and I practiced how this would go, and decided that we wouldn't get past the first line of "I am a child of God" before turning tail and booking it.

Let's hope we never get attacked by a bear.

Then we saw a gorilla picking poop out of his butt while we were eating ice cream.
That was pleasant.

And that was about the time that everyone took a cat nap.
(Get it!?! I kill myself...)

And then...
a love story happened.
It was unexpected.
It was the stuff of legend.
And it was destined to end in tragedy.
He saw her from across the cage.
Their eyes met.
And he knew...
they were meant for each other.
He stayed by her side with a smile on his face, dreaming of what they could be.
But then, her parents decided it was time to go.
He was heartbroken.
He followed her from one end of his cage to the other and paused for a moment in a tiny diamond-shaped window to catch her eye.
And then, as a last attempt, he ran as fast and hard as he could and rammed his cage to try to get her attention.
It scared the crap out of her.
And despite his impressive efforts to win over her heart,
she broke it off.

I think he'll be okay.

And as the day wore on, we had more and more adventures.
We swam with the sharks.
We feel in love.
We crossed rickety bridges.
We swung with the monkeys.
We smiled for pictures.
We got lost in the Rainforest.
And we loved every second.
The end.