Greetings From California

Dear Friends,
We are OK. 
Really. 
We are. 

No one has died from a spider bit yet, 

our showers are working (although we're still peeling off paint), 

we became official license-carrying Californians (after only 8 combined hours and 3 trips to the DMV - don't get me started), 

and I've only broken down in tears twice. 

Once was when the AC broke 5 minutes after the repair man left (carrying our $750 check in  his pocket, no less.)  

And the other time was when I came inside after having a black widow crawl out from under a paint can ONE INCH away from my hand, then spraying myself down fully-clothed with the hose after I discovered ants (which I thought were termites) crawling all over my body and I found Luke on the phone with the city who had just dropped us a line to let us know that they are going to fine us for the patio cover that was built before we bought the house.  

I feel like both emotional episodes were pretty justified.

 But, really, we are good.

So, here's what we've been up to and what we've discovered about ol' California...

#1: If you turn on your blinker, the car in the lane next to you will immediately slam on their gas pedal in order to not let you over.  So, if you have to change lanes we've learned it's best to just skip the blinker, cut them off, and hope they aren't packing heat. (Or is it?)

#2: California still has ice-cream trucks!  I know!!  They do have that going for them...

#3: The library charges $1.50 per movie rental.  Since when did that become OK?!

#4: California has the best produce on the planet.  Except for corn.  That will forever belong to Iowa. 

#5: I get the vague impression that all the teenagers in this state want to stab me. 
They are intimidating and crude and scary. 
(But they would be more scary if the girls didn't have frosting-colored hair and the boys weren't wearing spandex skinny jeans.  Please bless that that will go out of style very, very soon.)

#6: It costs $15 to park at the beach.  Not even lying.  

#7: If you go to the beach and think that you don't need sunscreen because you've been outside all summer long and you want a tan and sunscreen is over-rated anyway, you WILL spend the entire weekend bathing your family in aloe and walking around without a bra. 
Just. Don't. Do. It.

#8: If you take Aubrey to the beach, she will get crabs.

#9: Father's Day happened. 

 #10: We live 5 min. from Cafe Rio.  BOOYAA!!

#11: If you take our kids to the nature park, they will spend the entire time collecting feathers and contracting bird flu. 

(And a little time feeding the hundreds of turtles in the pond.  So, it'll be worth it.)

#12: Then Number One lesson we've learned about California is that even if everything takes ten times longer, is ten times more expensive, and the people are ten times meaner, it's still nice to be near family.