The Top 10 Moments of Our Spring Break Cruise

Exactly 1 DAY before spring break officially started, I woke up and thought to myself, Ya know what...we should take the girls on a Spring Break cruise.  So, I checked the prices, called Luke, booked a cruise, and packed our bags.  (This coming from 2 people who bought a house they'd never seen.  Are we shocked?  No, not really.)

There were some truly magical moments on our short little get-away, but here are the ones that made the cut.

THE TOP 10 MOMENTS OF OUR SPRING BREAK CRUISE

#1: Boarding.

Yes, boarding.

After waiting in the wrong line for 40 minutes, getting stuck behind a full-grown-adult trying to smuggle in his own vodka, and being successfully photo-bombed,

we stepped foot on the ship and squealed like little monkeys while exploring every square inch of the enormous boat.

#2: The Fancy Dinner

Apparently, we need to get out more because when we told the girls that we were going to eat dinner at a fancy place, Aubrey said, "Oh!  Like Taco Bell!?!"

Uh......no.

The girls were so excited to get to drink from fancy cups, put their napkins in their laps, and order off the grown-up menu.  

We even convinced Aubrey to try the alligator fritters, which she promptly spit out into her napkin.

Yummy.

#3: The Water Slide

The girls discovered the water slide on day 2 and then decided to attempt to break the all-time-most-water-slide-rides-in-one-day record. 

In between trips down the slide we also managed some pool chicken fights, some quality hot tub time, and a few fantastic displays that led to a perfect opportunity to discuss with the girls the drawbacks of drinking.

 

#4: Camp Carnival

The girls' favorite part of the cruise was without a doubt Camp Carnival.  The ship offers guilt-free babysitting (for free!! say what?! ) that is less like babysitting and more like the best experience of your life.  They colored T-shirts, made their own candy, won 2nd and 3rd place at the coloring contest, and dominated in Just Dance (holla!).

Everyone was happy.

Win Win.

#5: MEH-HE-CO

Before we booked this last-second cruise we decided that we would not step foot off the ship on foreign soil.  Then we woke up over-looking the Mexican port on a glorious Mexican morning with the sun shining and the birds chirping and the smell of churros wafting into our room and the $3 souvenirs calling our names.

 So, we hit the streets of Mexico and got stalked by barefoot Mexican women begging us to buy their bracelets and let them braid our hair.  (The braiders were particularly interested in Luke for some reason.  Still don't get it, but seriously.  They really wanted to braid Luke's hair.)  We also got promised "free shots for the ninos" at a corner bar.  

So, yea.

 We did, however, score some treasures thanks to Luke's crazy bargaining skills.

The gems included a wooden truck for the Cam man, an owl necklace for Brooklyn, 2 huge star-fish, a $2.50 (yes, Luke bargained the poor Mexican woman out of 50 cents) sling-shot (he claimed it was for Cameron, but the evidence of Cameron never having touched it makes me a tad bit suspicious), and the. best. $5. purchase. ever.

We bought Aubrey a bow and arrow set that is the funnest toy in the existence of the world.

One bow.  Two suction-cupped-tipped arrows.  

(It's possible that maybe she gave herself a hickie on her forehead with one of the arrows.  Maybe.)

 She literally played with the bow every spare second and is now an expert marksman/pint-sized Katniss Everdeen.

#6: Jogging

Question: Is jogging on a boat fun?  

Answer: Nope.  

Jogging is not fun.  And jogging on a moving boat is even more not fun.

The closest thing I can think of to describe jogging on a moving cruise ship is to say it was like jogging on a vibrating waterbed that's inside of the fastest moving elevator in history while being strapped to one of those bungie-bouncing trampoline things that is stuck on fast-forward.  

Fun?  I say nay.

#7: Stage Dancing

While in line for Aubrey's lunch of a hot dog, nachos, french fries, and ice cream (no one ever went on a cruise to loose weight, my friends), our "right-foot-stomp, left-foot-stomp, everybody-clap-your-hands" song came on and Aubrey declared that we should follow the DJ's directions and stomp it out.  So, we climbed on stage and went to town with our best stomp dancing.  She was adorable and I was basically her #1 back-up dancer.  Seriously awesome stuff.

#8: Luke Got On a Game Show.  AGAIN.

Unfortunately for you (and me), when Luke was called up on stage he took up with him his phone leaving me camera-less and proof-less that he did indeed play an incredible (although losing) game of ski-ball.  He scored 900 of his teams 1100 points + it was a very unfair battle + he at least got on stage (which I cannot seem to EVER manage), so he's still a winner.  Or something.

#9:Chillin' In Our Cabin
Occasionally we found ourselves with nothing to do (we are Mormons who don't drink or gamble or go to x-rated comedy shows or layout in dental floss swimsuits or go clubbing, so this was bound to happen).  So, we spent a little bit of time just getting snug in our cabin.  We made good use of Aubrey's new bow and arrow, took a million and a half selfies, watched cartoons and snuggled with our towel animals.

#10: Our Scavanger-Hunt Family Victory

The last day on the cruise we realized we still had not won a 24 karat plastic ship-on-a-stick trophy, which is completely unacceptable. So, in a last-ditch effort to redeem ourselves we entered the Family Scavanger Hunt.  We were out for blood + had the eye of the tiger + took no prisoners + all of that stuff.  They gave everyone a piece of paper with 25 things around the ship that you had to take pictures of on your phone.  There were a few slightly awkward ones such as: #13: Rub sunscreen on a stranger (guess who got that honor...) but we were in it to win it and that was a small price to pay. 

We dominated the competition and did indeed win ourselves the covenanted trophy which now sits proudly at the bottom of a bucket in the girl's closet.

I'm going to be super sly and sneak in awesome moments #11-21 which included:

-the "not-so-family-friendly-family-friendly" show "Divas" that we may or may not have ushered our children out of in the middle of. #sorrynotsorry

-the karaoke bar

-the countless trivia games that Luke almost won

-the towel-folding class

-the country dancing class with the girls

-going mini golfing

-eating icecream for breakfast

-Luke getting hit on (twice!) the second I walked away from him

-the girls winning 2nd and 3rd place in the coloring contest

-meeting the cutest LDS family ever

-laughing our heads off at the comedy show

In conclusion, in case it is not clearly apparent, this was the best vacation ever and we loved 

every. single. second.

(Who wants to join us next year?!?)