My Super Sweet Family Christmas-palooza-fest-extravaganza

Have you ever seen the TV show, "My Super Sweet 16" on MTV? Well, if you're anything like me, you probably scratched your eyes out, banged your head against the wall and wept for future generations. But for those of you who have not been as blessed as I, I'll sum it up for you in one sentence.

Spoiled rotten teenagers get thrown lavish birthday parties complete with D-list rappers, 2-3 brand-new BMW's, thousand-dollar Designer outfits, and any other ridiculous shenanigans their horrible minds can fathom and then they cry the whole time that their helicopter isn't big enough, their pony didn't have enough diamonds on his harness, and their Ferrari is the wrong color.
It's horrible.
But the parties are amazing.

Well, this year, we experienced "My Super Sweet Family Christmas-palooza-fest-extravaganza" and guess what? It was the mother of all Christmas parties. It included goats, horses (LIVE ONES!), Double Dutch, the Limbo, weed killer (which Brooklyn was found playing in TWICE! - a little poison never killed anyone, right?), and money literally falling from the sky. Let me explain...

This is the "real live" goat. His name is Socks.
My kids didn't love him.
This is the "real live horse." His name is Buck.
My kids loved him.
This is a pinata.
At a Christmas party.
Because really... is there a more appropriate time than the family Christmas party to hand kids a baseball bat and encourage them to beat a clown to pieces?
I think not.

And remember how I mentioned money falling from the sky?
Grandma Skidmore (the Christmas-palooza-fest-extravaganza Mastermind) stuffs the pinata with not only candy, she takes it about three steps further and sneaks in things like gloves, stamps, games, books, cars, toys, hair clips, lip gloss, and yes.... money.
And, with candy and money raining down on every side, Aubrey was found reading a book.
I'm not sure whether to be proud or ashamed.
Alright, proud. Definitely proud.

Next came the Man-slayer.
The Conqueror of Pride.
The dreaded spectacle where dreams go to die:

The Jump Rope.
First victim: Jarvis
Second victim: Chance
Third victim: Luke

The Victor: Brennan
He had mad Double Dutch skills that put the rest of the boys to shame.
I haven't seen that kind of talent since Nicole Rodriguez in the 3rd grade.

And finally, came the Limbo.
The Webb girls know how to work it.
That's all I'm gonna say....

"My Super Sweet 16" has nothing on this party.

My own Grandma throws an equally amazing Christmas party every year complete with a White Elephant Gift Exchange the likes of which you have never seen.
It should be televised, I swear.
It broke my heart that I couldn't be there.

But I'm in good hands.
A family that knows how to party just as hard as my own family...
How could one girl get so lucky?