A December Wrap-up (A.K.A. The longest post ever)

Have you ever sat down with a book/article/Conference talk and a highlighter and by the time you're done, you realize you've highlighted the entire page?

That's kind of like our California vacation.
It was just so good, there are no bad parts to leave out. And that is why this post is going to be so eternally long.
Sorry 'bout that.

So in order to highlight the most memorable moments of our month of merriment, I present to you (the appropriately named...)

"MOST MEMORABLE MOMENTS OF OUR MONTH OF MERRIMENT AWARDS"

#1: The "Optimistically Optimistic" Award
While driving from California back to Iowa through the barren desert of Arizona with nothing but a few cacti and some lizards to keep me company, I was pulled over by a super sweet (not really) cop and given a $187 late Christmas present. As we pulled (slowly) away, Luke said, "Well, if we have to give money to a state government, at least we get to give it to Arizona and not California."
It made me feel so. much. better.

#2: The "I Want To Buy Myself A Time Machine So I Can Go Back 20 Years And Be A Kid Again" Award
And the winner is... "Pretend City."
You've never seen anything like this place.
It's a city for kids.
With stoplights, and crosswalks, and parking spaces, and Ferrari's that are just up for grabs...
and doctor's offices...
and post offices, and ATM's...
and grocery stores...
and a marina (for catching fish, naturally.)...and a farm...
and a Mexican restaurant...
(My favorite part was that Aubrey spent the majority of her time as a waitress dropping the food on the ground, then picking it up and serving it to me. Such a natural...)
and a beach...
and a gas station, and a library, and an art studio, and a construction site, and a house, and a stage, and a golf course, and a fire station, and I could keep going, but I won't.
Just suffice it to say that it was awesome.
It made grown-up life seem so much cooler than it really is.

#3: The "Worst Sentence I've Ever Heard In My Life" Award:
"Turn right onto the freeway and continue driving for 1,793 miles."
-The GPS.

#4: The "Best Birthday Party I've Ever Been To Where The Birthday Boy Didn't Show Up" Award
Grandpa Smith's 80th Birthday Bash was incredible. Except for the fact the he was feeling so sick he wasn't able to come. We were bummed.
We entertained ourselves by watching Uncle Steve on Tivo and gorging ourselves on Lucille's BBQ chicken.
Eventually we moved the party to him and celebrated his 80th in style.
Happy Birthday Grandpa!

#5: The "Most Un-white Elephant - White Elephant Gift Ever" Award
At our ward's epic Elder's Quorum Christmas Party, Luke left the gift exchange with a surfboard. A REAL LIVE SURFBOARD.
No joke.
(If you're not impressed you should know the alternatives were either a bronze bull paperweight, a surfing monkey, or a sumo-wrestling bobble-head. Enough said.)

#6: The "Best Christmas Tree In The World" Award:
That one's easy.
It's ours.

#7: The "Now I Can Die Happy" Award
Remember Aunt Wendy? I've mentioned her before.
She really could not be any more wonderful.
We spent the day eating breakfast, getting pedicures, and carrying on the most awesome conversations about things that I am not permitted to write about on this blog.
In the end we all went home with matching snowflake adorned, diamond encrusted, holiday appropriate toes.
Now that we're back in Iowa, they won't be seen again 'till April (if we're lucky).

#8: The "Very Merry Un-Birthday Party"Award
For Aubrey's magical 3rd birthday, we spent the night partying it up in her honor at John's Incredible Pizza Company. We dished out more money than I make in a month, made ourselves sick on ride after ride, and only managed to loose one child that night. (In my defense, my attention was on the birthday girl.) As we were walking out, Aubrey turned to me and asked,
"Now are we going to my birthday party?"
I didn't know if she was going to make it to her 4th.

#9: The "Finer Things" Award
Luke and I went to the Symphony.
Yep. The symphony.
We got the $140 tickets free and only thought for a second about scalping them at the door.
So glad we didn't. We loved every second.
(Well... almost every second. The last 12 minutes of the endless applauding started to get a tad redundant.)

#10: The "Sandcastles Are So Yesterday" Award:
I suggested that we make a sandcastle at the beach.
The girls instead demanded that we make a dog nest. And so we did.
(You can't tell in this picture, but I am dripping wet from the waist down from my lifesaving rescue of Aubrey. She got clobbered by a freak wave that went over her head and scared the life out of her. And she wasn't the biggest fan of the ocean before that.)
#11: The "Adventure City Adventures" Award
There we were having a day full of roller coaster riding,
more roller coaster riding,
more roller coaster riding,
and more roller coaster riding.And then one punk little boy put an end to all the fun. He decided that Aubrey was no longer tall enough to ride on a ride that she had already been on 3 times.
It broke her heart into little bitty pieces.
She cried and cried and told that boy, (quote)
"He's a mean guy who doesn't like little girls!!"
After we had ridden every ride at least three times, we went for one more ride on the carousel...
and that is where we fell asleep.
What an adventure.

#12: The "Next Best Thing" Award
After all of the action-packed adventuring we had done that month, we decided against Disneyland.
Thank goodness.
I would have ended up face-down, fast asleep in the middle of Main Street, I promise you.
But it is almost illegal to go to Southern California and not see Mickey Mouse.
So we saw him on ice!

And even though Grandma almost got us kicked out for seat hopping, we loved it.
My favorite part was the troll from Toy Story 3.
It was so wrong - it was right.

#13: The "Legend of Bagger Vance" Award
Aubrey received personal golf lessons from "Grandpa Great."And what a teacher he is.
After an hour, she had her swing back. She's planning on going pro next year.
#14: The "So Amazing, I Didn't Even Have Time To Take Pictures Of It" Award
Palm Springs. No kids. Hot tub. Shopping. Movies. Free.
Absolute. Paradise.

#15: The "Wheel Meaning of Christmas" Award
This year, we really wanted to stress that importance of Christmas, and not just the gifts. So, (true to tradition) we acted out the Nativity Scene with all the Smith Family kids. Every year, I wanted to be Mary.
And every year, I was an angel.
This year, bot the girls wanted to be sheep.
And both the girls ended up as angels.
And despite two naughty little angels, it was the best year yet.
And the White Elephant was pretty awesome too.
That's all I'm sayin'.

#16: The "Merry Little Christmas" Award
Christmas this year was incredible.We opened about a million presents, spent the day with people we love, laughed our heads off,
and couldn't have had a more wonderful Christmas.

#17: The "Honorable Mention" Awards:
-Shopping with Brittany in downtown LA and almost dying. (Several times, in fact.)
-Sewing lessons with Grandma (So much to do now.)
-Gymnastics with Brittany
-Game night
-Stories every night with Grandpa
-"Tangled," "Money Never Sleeps" (lame!!), "Harry Potter 7","Christmas Carol", "Letters to Juliet", and "It's A Wonderful Life"
-BYU Sports Games
-Tennis with the brothers
-The Science Center
-Classic Family Nights
-Brittany's Dance Performance
-Luke's extremely entertaining rotation in the ghetto of Long Beach
-So much more you would start to think I'm just making things up.

#18: The "Best, Most Wonderful, Perfect, Incredible, Awesome, Unbeatable December Ever" Award:
This one.