Lifestyles of the Poor and the Not-at-all Famous

Sometimes I have awesome stories to share.  

Sometimes I post hilarious adventures and fascinating experiences.  

Sometimes I entertain with incredible undertakings and fabulous tales.  

This is not one of those times.

This is just a post about life.  

Everyday. Life.    

Exhibit A: 

 

Cameron started eating people food.  

 He snorted it up his nose and then blew a rice cereal bubble which popped all over his face.  Like the loving mother I am, I made him wait till I took a picture and then laughed him to shame.  

Poor kid. 

Exhibit B:  

2 naughty little monkeys traced their hands and wrote big capital letter B's all over their bedroom wall. 

 Scrub, little monkeys.  

Scrub.

  

Exhibit C: 

Someone (not me) got a traffic camera speeding ticket.  

It's cool though, 'cause we totally don't need money right now.  

At. all. 

(I do have an ounce of sympathy because Luke got this ticket on Sunday morning when he was driving to the downton hospital to be there when I woke up from surgery.  So he's forgiven.  Almost.) 

Exhibit D:  

The girls play Petshop a lot.  This time, along with tigers, dinosaurs, and unicorns for sale there was also a 6 month old human.  

I bought the tiger. 

 Since no one was buying, they tried to disguise him as an arabian princess. 

Seriously; poor kid. 

Exhibit E: 

We saw this movie: 

 Well, actually, I saw this movie. 

Luke didn't really love it.  In fact, he didn't love it so much that he walked out. 

Didn't ask for his money back.  

Didn't eat his Sweedish Fish. 

Didn't even want me to tell him the ending.

  

  He just got in our car and drove himself home.  

 Poor kid.

Exhibit F: 

 I opened an Etsy shop.  

 As a result, I was commissioned to make 25 shirts (with 50 snap-on bows).  

I'll spare you the story, but everything that could have gone wrong did, and I'm just happy that this little venture didn't kill me entirely.  

Exhibit G: 

This morning I woke up to, 

"Mom, Wake Up!!  You said we could paint our plates today so get up!  Mom!!  Let's paint our plates.  No, don't go back to sleep - we have to paint our plates!  You said we could paint our plates!!  MOM!!!!!!
And so, paint our plates we did. 

 

Exhibit H:

Last night I attended a faux-sleepover.

It was like high school.  Minus the braces. 

We watched "Saved By the Bell." 

(I'm so excited!!  I'm so excited!!  I'm so.....so.....scared!!!)  

 We did our nails.

We ate smoothies and Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs.

And that is about the time that things started to go bad.

See, Amy (dark hair below) decided that we should try a facemask that she found on Pinterest. 

 

So we mixed the concoction,  

  

applied it, 

 and took pictures of ourselves.

This is my new FAVORITE picture ever taken. 

Ever.  

Like, EVER.

It's only funny because these 3 girls are all seriously gorgeous.  If they were ugly, then it would be cruel.  

But they are beautiful and so I have allowed it.  

Plus it makes me cry laughing every time I see it.

Anyway, after 20 minutes of waiting, our faces all began to tighten.  We basically became real-life, human statues. 

Oh, and it turns out that taking off the mask hurt. like. a. bad. WORD!!!  

 Whoever invented this recipe clearly hates women and has a direct personal relationship with Satan.

It's hard to say whether I shed more tears from pain or from laughing.  

(It totally reminded me of this YouTube video.  

If you've never seen this, do us both a favor and indulge yourself.  It gets good about 5 min. in, so you can skip to there if you need to.  But trust me, watch it.  You can thank me later.)